Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Review of chess assistant::What Is an Example of a Personal Interest







Review of chess assistant::What Is an Example of a Personal Interest








The               phrase               "Owah-Tagu-Siam"               came               into               my               head               today               and,               for               reasons               known               only               to               my               brain,               seems               to               refuse               to               leave.

Forced               to               think               about               where               I               first               heard               those               words,               I               --               possibly               wrongly               --               come               to               seventh               grade,               lunch,               Jay               Gladky,               Bob               Grimm,               Mike               Raphan,               and               Bob               Grandt.

Seventh               grade               was               kind               of               an               unmoored               year               for               me,               especially               the               first               half.

I               didn't               yet               have               my               paper               route               for               financing,               I               was               still               struggling               unsuccessfully               with               my               first               foreign               language,               Hebrew,               and               I               wasn't               yet               Ralph               Foster's               faithful               assistant               on               the               JV               soccer               and               track               teams.

But               I               did               have               a               mess               of               unfamiliar               metal               in               my               mouth,               which               is               how               I               met               Jay               Gladky.
               The               powers               that               controlled               Speech               at               South,               namely               Maggie               McNamara,               had               decided               my               braces               had               given               me               a               lisp               that               needed               to               be               corrected,               and               none               of               my               seemingly               logical               reasoning               that               the               lisp               would               go               away               when               the               braces               did               prevented               me               from               missing               study               hall               and               instead               being               forced               to               practice               phrases               like               "Essau               Wood               sawed               wood.

Essau               Wood               would               saw               wood.

Essau               Wood               would               saw               wood               with               his               wood               saw."               Now               Jay               Gladky,               despite               seemingly               perfect               teeth,               had               managed               to               develop               a               sibilant               S               of               his               own,               so               we               were               stuck               with               Maggie               McNamara               together.

That               wasn't               completely               bad.

Maggie               was               no               Janet               Porter,               but               Janet               Porter               wasn't               going               to               appear               for               another               two               years,               and               Maggie               McNamara               always               seemed               more               accessible               than               Janet               Porter               anyhow.

Still,               I               didn't               care               much               for               Essau               Wood,               or               Grandpa               and               his               Banana               Oil               !

--               which,               in               retrospect,               has               no               S's               to               practice               on               --               or               the               lyrics               to               Gilbert               and               Sullivan's               "Tit               Willow."               And               let               me               tell               you,               when               I               got               to               the               part,               "And               I               said               to               him,               'Dickie               Bird,               why               do               you               sit...'               "               Jay               Gladky               was               all               over               the               floor.

But               meeting               Jay               at               least               gave               me               someone               new               to               have               lunch               with,               as               it               seemed               my               grade               school               friends               had               been               assigned               to               other               lunch               periods.

And               Jay               introduced               me               to               his               friends,               Bob,               and               Mike,               and               Bob.
               I               think               they               all               knew               each               other               from               their               grade               school,               whichever               one               that               might               have               been,               so               I               was               the               new               kid               in               the               group.

And               for               forty-five               minutes               each               day,               between               Twinkies               and               Devil               Dogs,               they               got               to               practice               their               tricks               and               jokes               on               me.

They               told               me               I               was               looking               at               my               nails               the               wrong               way,               I               was               looking               behind               me               the               wrong               way,               I               was               crossing               my               legs               the               wrong               way,               and               probably               a               half-dozen               other               things               I               now               forget.

But,               most               of               all,               they               delighted               in               having               me               repeat               the               magical               words,               "Owah-Tagu-Siam."               Also,               "Owah-Tanas-Siam,"               though               I               always               liked               the               first               one               better.

In               the               same               way,               I               later               preferred               the               chorus               of               "Witch               Doctor"               to               the               equally               catchy               refrain               of               "Yellow               Polka               Dot               Bikini."               I               don't               know               why               I               liked               saying               "Owah-Tagu-Siam."               I               clearly               knew               what               it               meant.

Maybe               I               did               it               because               it               sounded               so               dumb               that               it               made               everyone               laugh.
               In               any               case,               my               friendship               with               Jay,               Bob,               Mike,               and               Bob               didn't               much               go               anywhere.

Mike               and               Bob               Grimm               played               soccer,               I               think,               so               I               may               have               seen               them               afternoons               for               the               next               couple               of               years               in               the               locker               room.

And               Bob               Grandt               and               I               tried               to               learn               chess,               which               we               kind               of               massacred               because               I               had               no               head               for               strategy.

And               when               my               braces               went               away               with               the               Hebrew,               they               took               my               lisp               with               them.

In               college,               in               Ohio,               the               powers               that               controlled               Speech               in               the               Education               Department               were               more               troubled               by               the               depth               of               my               voice               and               wanted               me               to               do               exercises               to               raise               my               pitch,               but               I               was               having               none               of               it.

Still,               all               these               years               later,               I'm               stuck               with               "Owah-Tagu-Siam"               and               Essau               Wood.

Who               "one               day               sought               a               saw               like               no               other               wood               saw               Wood               saw               would               saw               wood."






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